People-pleasing is not kindness; it’s an unsustainable strategy for managing anxiety and fear. It’s the constant performance of agreement designed to guarantee one thing: safety from abandonment, rejection, or conflict.

In therapy, we understand that authentic relationships do not come from endless compliance. They come from having the courage to define, hold, and communicate your boundaries.

Being a reliable partner is a beautiful thing. But a healthy, loving relationship requires two people to be messy, imperfect human beings who take turns holding the space for one another. You deserve to be in a relationship where you are loved for who you are, not for what you do.

If your relationships feel less like partnerships and more like projects, it's time to put down the toolbox and start working on the core beliefs that keep it there.