Let’s be direct: You feel jealous. You see your partner talking a little too closely to someone else, or you notice a subtle shift in their attention, and that familiar, tight knot forms in your gut. Maybe it's a cold spike of fear, or a hot rush of suspicion.

If you’re like many men, you immediately feel a second, more painful emotion: Shame.

Retroactive jealousy is a specific form of jealousy focused on past events or relationships that occurred before the current relationship began. It's not about a current threat; it's about a perceived threat from the past that can feel very real and consuming. For men, this can manifest in various ways, from obsessively replaying scenarios in their minds to interrogating their partners about past experiences, often leading to arguments and a breakdown of trust.