If you are like many of the men I see in my Preston practice, you have spent your life operating under a very specific set of rules: Your value is equal to your utility. You believe that if you work harder, earn more, hit that next promotion, or maintain a certain physique, you will finally feel "enough." This is the achievement treadmill. You run faster and faster, but the sense of internal security—that feeling of being fundamentally "okay" regardless of your output—remains just out of reach.

The UK Government recently announced a new curriculum aimed at tackling "misogyny" and "toxic masculinity" among schoolboys. While the stated goal of fostering respect and safety is noble, the proposed method—a state-mandated curriculum focusing on the "flaws" of masculinity—is deeply concerning.

In therapy, we often see that suppressed anger—anger that is denied, swallowed, or turned inward—is a major, hidden contributor to anxiety and depression, particularly for men struggling with the confines of the male gender script.

As a psychotherapist, I've seen first-hand how this ingrained message fuels a relentless pressure to conform, leading to what Dr. John Barry calls the male gender script. This script dictates that men must be independent, stoic, competitive, and above all, emotionally invulnerable. And it’s slowly, quietly, hurting men.

The Male Gender Script, with its rigid expectations and enforced emotional repression, is a key driver of the current male mental health crisis. The pressures from modern feminism, misandry, capitalism, the labour market, postmodernism, and automation only serve to worsen the psychological toll on men and boys.